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What I've Learned from Letting Go

Life looks a little different for me now. Instead of responding to 27 emails an hour, I'm changing about 27 diapers instead. For the time being, I am no longer spending my nights awake thinking about my crazy business ideas, but instead I'm closely holding my little one in my arms in the wee hours of the morning. It's beautiful and messy and invigorating and draining all at the same time. #mamahood

I'm two weeks postpartum and my precious Tea Tulip has been just what our family needed. She snuggles like an absolute pro and her calm demeanor balances out the crazies (aka my other kiddos). Soaking in these moments has been my priority which feels mighty different from the last time.

Flashback to 2018. My business was 5 months old and there I was, a solo-preneur with no paid maternity leave stepping out to have a kid. LOL to the timing of it all. I had no employees and my husband's job at the time had him working long days and late nights. How we got through that season I don't know. It's all kind of a blur at this point.

So there I was... new mom and new business owner with a "let's get to it" attitude. I remember taking my daughter to daycare at 6 weeks old because, "mama had to get back to work." This is a decision that I now question, but at the time I had no choice. FYI working moms are constantly living under some kind of #momguilt. Holler if you hear me, mamas.

Things are different now, having a baby in 2021. The business has grown. My husband is now employed by Mariposa and doesn't have to travel anymore. There's a team to support and hold up the company workload and they happen to be some of my favorite humans on planet Earth. It's so crazy what 3 years can do. #GodisGood

So why then am I anxious? I suppose it's the feeling of letting go. It's been so hard to let go of something that has been at the forefront of my mind for the last 3 years.

Just ask my co-operator, business partner, love of my life, and the real MVP. I've been feeling displaced about my role in the business since we starting transitioning me out. We have fought countless times. I've been slow to trust and quick to question. It's been humbling you guys, but I needed it. I'm so passionate about my work and I LOVE WHAT I DO, but it's time for me take a new direction for a while. In my struggle to let go, I thought I would share a few things I've learned through the process.

  1. I am replaceable. A team of very talented people has been able carry my job's weight and they've proven to be amazing at it. Go team! The fact that I've been replaced temporarily is actually a good thing; a VERY GOOD THING. As a business owner, I don't always want to be consumed by the ins and outs of the business, but when was I realistically going to let things go? In some ways, because I had to, this has led to a newfound freedom that I don't have to be involved in every little thing. (Insert sigh of relief here.)

  2. Team work makes the dream work. No one person can do it all. Each of us has a role to play at Mariposa. I know this sounds soooo cliché but it's been the absolute truth. Every person on the team has stepped up to allow me to step back. Our small but mighty squad has proven to excel. #bestteameva

  3. Priorities change and that's okay. Two years ago, I was just setting up to create the first ever "in person" marketing model in Albuquerque. It was a super exciting time for me where I was pouring into the business what seemed like 24 hours a day. Long days and late nights were the norm and I loved every minute of it. Today, things are slower. The shop closed down last summer due to COVID and I'm used to looking at the same 4 walls for hours on end. Not as exciting, or glamourous as opening a new storefront, but I'm at total peace with it.

There are BIG plans in store for Mariposa and in lots of ways, were just getting started. But for the foreseeable future, I will be surrendering my position as "boss" and proudly wearing my "mama" hat. For right now, I'm being called to do dishes and wipe noses; to make meals and read bed time stories. To close the laptop and snuggle just a little bit longer and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The business will be there when I get back and I'm thankful for the people in place allowing me to have this sacred time for me and for my family. As a working mom, there's no words I could say to express my gratitude for undivided time with my hubby and my babies.

I promise to keep you all posted about my journey along the way.

With unwashed hair, baggy sweatpants, and some kind of milk/snot stains on my shirt, I'm sending all the love your way.




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